Dear Stephenie Meyer,

I know that maybe you sold the rights to your story to Hollywood and they made the movie. But, there should have been something you could do to get the idea that chastity is an "ancient" idea out of the movie. I am so tired of promiscuity being perpetuated in Hollywood as the norm. Disgusting. You have now added your name to the list of writers, actors, producers, directors, etc. that have shoved morals down the toilet. This is not the norm. There are a lot of people living good moral lives. There are people with high standards that stick to those standards. Yes it is getting less and less but, but it will continue to decline if there continues to be movies where fornicating is just what one "does". I'm sick of it. Thank you and good night.

Cagey-isms

Cagey asked us on Sunday, "Can we go sheep hunting? because I really want to shoot a sheep." He had a lesson about sheep in Primary. I don't think that's what he was supposed to get out of it.

Cagey has 2 holes in the back of his pajama top. As he was putting them on he informed me, while looking through the holes, "mommy, this is a binocular shirt, if it only had one hole it would be a telescope shirt."

And it's all over folks...

It was a million degrees outside on Saturday and where were we? We were in Smyrna- sitting outside. When we first arrived at the tournament there were crazies everywhere - softball people are intense! I've never seen so many people screaming at 8 year olds. We had definitely entered a different world. But, after sitting in the heat for 4 hours- one begins to morph into something strange- something that can only described as a crazed softball parent. After 4 hours of sitting in the sun (did I mention we were out there for 4 hours?) we were screaming with the crowd and agreeing with the super crazed yankee guy yelling at the ref's last crazy call. The ref flailed her arms to her sides signaling the runner safe at home and then half a second later raised her fist signaling her out! What!!?? are you crazy??!! Go ref a swim meet!!! That's gross!! AHHH You're Gross REF!!!??? You belong at a badminton game- NOT here!! And that is what happens when you sit in the NC southern sun for 4 hours and your daughter loses her game. Tates is just so dang excited to have a real medal- her very first one.

I like big bums

not really, (you know this if you've read my blog before) but I saw enough big bubble bums squeezed into itty bitty black shorts last night to last a lifetime. Is it a prerequisite to have a bubble bum to play softball? I should have played more softball. It seems a lot of baseball players have big bums as well- maybe a question for Mythbusters.
Tates was striking poses in the outfield. She did great, but they lost their game. Darn it! We are going back to Smyrna tonight. Smyrna sounds like a venereal disease- I'm going to google it.
Nope, not a disease. So we were down one point, 2 outs, bases loaded, Taylor was up to bat. I thought I might pass out. First swing, nice cut, foul ball. Second swing- strike, third, strike, and fourth swing....strike out! Game over. I'm not cut out for this.

Will whack a foot

Sunday night was hot and we were sick. Tates and Cagey were bouncing off the walls. We decided to go out and watch the storm roll in because it was bringing a little cooler air. Jeebs thought it would be a good idea to ride...Taylor's scooter...barefoot. His first trip down the driveway gave him this little beauty on the bottom of his foot. You'd think he'd be done, but no, he went down again and the second trip gave him a cut in the back of his ankle. This from the dad that will not let the kids ride their bikes without shoes, "it's dangerous, you just don't do it, you could get hurt, yada yada yada". And now, he has proved his own point.

Apparently Ezra has learned the lesson well.

Stole this from my little brother

Awesome quote from one of my favorite latter day prophets.

"We must ever keep in mind that collectivized socialism is part of the communistic strategy. Communism is fundamentally socialism. When socialism is understood, we will realize that many of the programs advocated, and some of these already adopted in the U.S., fall clearly within the category of socialism. What is socialism? It is simply governmental ownership or management of the essential means for the production and distribution of goods. The socialistic-communistic conspiracy to weaken the U.S. involves attacks on many fronts. Their press and other propaganda media are therefore constantly selling the principles of centralized or federal control of farms, railroads, electric power, schools, steel, shipping, and many other aspects of the economy - but always in the name of public welfare.." Ezra Taft Benson - CR Oct. 1961

Amazing that this was said 50 years ago - we obviously didn't listen.

Can you hear me now? good.



Last night at the baby shower Jamie told us that her family calls the generic brands at the grocery story the "welfare" brands. I was thinking to myself- heck, people on welfare get the NAME brands- the rest of us are left with the generic brands. What is wrong with this picture? When we were little we rarely, rarely ever got name brand cereal. If we did, you better get up dang early or my little brother would have half of the box devoured already. (actually he did that with any cereal that had any kind of sugar in it) Anyway, Benjamin Franklin said, "I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it." How can we help people by giving them Cap'n Crunch and Cocoa Pebbles? You'll get your rear in gear for something different when you're stuck eating chocolate covered sawdust and roof o' mouth sandpaper, trust me.

School Themed Baby Shower

I had a good time planning this shower for my teacher friend. We had sloppy joes and salads, complete with my very own lunch ladies. Sloppy joes, sloppy sloppy joes!! George and Skylar put together the little milk carton favor boxes and we filled them with oatmeal cookies. The pocket pies turned out so dang cute (and tasty, if I do say so myself). I was so pleased with how they turned out. Then while Jeebs was loading the car to take everything up to the church- they got knocked off the bumper fell on the ground. They made it through with just less cute fluted edges... dang it. Wendy made apple cupcakes and they turned out so cute. Jeebs cut up a big chalkboard I had into several small ones. I framed them with lollipop sticks and called it good! I only have one picture of baby Logan- the baby of honor.

We had a rousing game of MASH- tell me you remember Mash! I had to explain it to everybody and I'm losing my voice. We also taped pieces of gum to the bottom of every chair and had a bubble gum blowing contest. The prizes? mini homemade chalkboards. I am done party planning for a while- at least until Cagey's birthday next month.

Emotional highs and lows

This series of pictures were each taken about 30 seconds apart.

Jiggle Bum (to the maxi)

I saw a girl in Target today wearing a long knit maxi dress. I was immediately transported back to finals week at BYU - when all the girls would show up in their gross, non-supportive, pajama pants, doing their floppy legged Utah saunter- causing maximum floppation (I just made up that word) of their bum cheeks. It was gross. Is it just me or does anybody else worry about their bums jiggling around for all the world to see when you walk? This girl was either going commando- or what semblance of underwear she did have had to be implanted deep in that crev---asse. Those bum cheeks were hungry and with every step they would binge and then purge the same piece of dress that fell so not-delicately over her jiggle bum. Hello, my name is Vanessa Nicolaysen and I am just not a fan of bums.

This little peckerwood...

is now riding his bike without training wheels. This was the Christmas he got his bike- he was so unhappy about having to wear a helmet. Jeebs took off his training wheels this past weekend and today Cagey wanted me to help him ride. I held the bike, he got on, started pedaling, and I let go. That was it- he was off. I was so impressed and he was excited in his non-showy Jeebus like excited way. Unfortunately, it was 1000 degrees today so we weren't out long.

Tates had softball practice from 5:30- 7:30 so I played on the playground with the boys. I had sweat running down my legs and I was worried I had visible swass. When I finally got Ezra in the bath I stood up and my shorts fell down. Yeah, it's that nasty here.

A Free Saturday!!

For the first time in a long time we had a free Saturday- no youth activities, no softball games, softball practice was cancelled... nothing! The day started off bright and early- 1:45 am to be exact. Cagey woke up and needed a drink so I jumped up and got the drink, tucked Cagey back in bed and ignored the dang dog that was following me around giving me the "let me out now, woman!" look. I eased back in bed and got comfortable, trying to ignore Percy's whimpering. Sometimes if you ignore him he'll give up and ball himself back up into his little blanket nest or scratch and dig his pillow a little more before falling reluctantly back to sleep. Not this night- morning- whatever you call it. T``his time Jeebs got up to let him out. He made the ultimate mistake of letting Percy go out on his own- but really, when you're in your skivvies, at 2 in the morning, what is a person to do? I heard him calling for the dog, nothing. He finally comes back in and slips on some shorts. He headed back out to try and get the dog to come back in- yelling softly so as to not wake up the kids. After several minutes he came back to bed and told me, "that dog is dead to me." I laughed and tried to just go back to sleep, but after a while I thought I heard him scratching at the door so I got up and opened the door to let him in, he wasn't at the door. He was coming around the side of the house and headed to the woods and on his way gave me the "screw you hippie!" look. I was getting mad now. I got back in bed and fell back asleep. My eyes opened again when I heard someone moving around in the house and opening the garage door- it was light outside but just barely- 5:45 am. A shot of adrenaline went through me, I perked up and asked Jeebs who in the heck is opening doors! He told me it was Tates looking for Percy so I got up and Tates told me she heard Percy scratching at the door. I saw the little (add expletive here) head at the back door. Let him in and Tates grabbed him up, "he's wet" she tells me. So I stuck him in the garage to dry off a bit and hopefully let some of the ticks fall off before bringing him in the house. I told Tates to go back to bed because it was still early and I snuggled back under my covers. Percy started scratching on the door wanting to come in- I ignored it. Then he started barking- I asked Jeebs what to do- got back up went into the garage stepped through the massive amount of gross dead bugs in there to try and find his kennel- shoved him in and huffed back to bed. Amazingly I fell back to sleep- I should have just gotten up. Cagey and Ezra were up at 7.

Oh well- we had the whole day right? Nope...Jeebs had to work.

I did get everybody to pitch in and straighten up the house. I then swept out the previously mentioned gross dead-bug filled garage. (which also had a toad caught in a mouse trap flopping around in it, yuck) I then mowed the yard while Jeebs watched Ezra, who wouldn't take his morning nap, argh. We did, however, end up all in the pool at the same time- Cagey has been asking for a family night in the pool again for a while. We were having a blast until the neighborhood kids showed up asking to get in. I really wouldn't mind them getting in if they were nice boys and hadn't already gone swimming in our pool...without asking, while we weren't home. Taylor has also said they are gross, apparently they like to do gross things, but Tates won't tell me exactly what. Yuck- these kids are 2nd grade and kindergarten! After we came in and everybody got changed- I got Ezra to sleep, Cage fell asleep and Tates was cuddled under a blanket. I decided I would try and catch a few Z's as well. ha! KNOck KNOCK Knock! Yes, neighborhood irritants again.

We ended up going to Walmart for groceries and because I promised Cagey I would take him to Kidsville- I made dinner while Jeebs took Cagey and Ezra to play. I wonder when our next "free" Saturday will be.

Sorry this was so long- It needed to be long enough so I wouldn't have to see Obama's ugly mug every time I looked at my blog.

Did I mention it has been hoT?

Yeah, I think I did, but dang it has been hot! Our a/c is running and running trying to keep up. Our utility bill will be off the charts. Then when Obama has his way- it'll be worse- worse to the tune of $1000. Have you seen this clip? watch. listen. learn.

My life as a chauffeur...

Last night we all had to take Tates to softball practice at 5:30 because Jeebs needed to be at the church at 6:15. So I took Tates to softball- watched for a bit then I took Jeebs to the church and ran home to feed the boys. The boys ate and at 7:15 we had to run back out the door to pickup Tates and then swing back by the church to pick up Jeebs. We need a second car, but we really can't afford one because we're being taxed to death in this little town. We have to pay for other people's food, healthcare and living expenses while trying to pay for our own. Maybe I should ask Mr. Obama for a second car. No, I wouldn't do that because we could always do without dish, cellphones and other luxuries that we've tricked ourselves into thinking are necessities. The government controls 70% of the US economy!! That is scary. As my 7th grade science teacher used to say, "A nation of non-workers and non-thinkers!" The more handouts we get from the government the more power and control they get over our lives! I don't want Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, or Mr. Barrack running my life and spending my money- do you? ahhhhh it is so scary!

ok- calming down...I'm leaving you with a pic of Darth-dog. Tates put her little cape on Percy and followed him around the house for hours.
.

Oregon...we miss you

This was our Oregon trip of '04. Ya know those perfect days you have? We've had a lot of them in Oregon. Poor Jeebs, he's gone for good from his home :) what movie?

Faces

A few ugly faces of Tates and me. I hope we make it through softball- 5 practices a week- Sunday games (which we won't be attending)- driving out to the ends of the earth. This girl can hit that dang ball though. My name is Vanessa Nicolaysen and does anybody believe in keeping the sabbath day holy any more? just sayin'.

We're HOT

While we are in the process of bringing sexy back- it is a slow process it'll probably take the eternities. But, no I'm talking about the heat! It was so hot Sunday- we didn't even want to step outside until after 6 pm. Cagey was the only one who braved the heat. We finally joined him when the sun went down and he took Buggy for a little ride.
Buggy is always obsessed with my sweeping dirt pile- this one was especially captivating because it had a half-live mosquito hawk looking thing in it. Every time it decided to do something alive-like I would scream. It was gross.

June 1st... you thought I was done haha!

yeah, really I'm done. I just wanted to document that this crazy little girl made the all-star softball team. See all the stars on her socks- foreshadowing, no? She has practices 4 times a week and then I don't know how many games. We thought we were done, back to our normal lives, dancing inconspicuously in the front seat on the way home from the last game! But, she likes it and we can do hard things!
In other news, I ran 2 miles today. Amazing how far one can run with 2 bras and no stroller to push. And, I am putting a spot on here for Jeebs' original one liners as soon as I can (or Jeebs can). I need one for him and one for Cagey- those two are two peas in a pod.