Jiggle Bum (to the maxi)

I saw a girl in Target today wearing a long knit maxi dress. I was immediately transported back to finals week at BYU - when all the girls would show up in their gross, non-supportive, pajama pants, doing their floppy legged Utah saunter- causing maximum floppation (I just made up that word) of their bum cheeks. It was gross. Is it just me or does anybody else worry about their bums jiggling around for all the world to see when you walk? This girl was either going commando- or what semblance of underwear she did have had to be implanted deep in that crev---asse. Those bum cheeks were hungry and with every step they would binge and then purge the same piece of dress that fell so not-delicately over her jiggle bum. Hello, my name is Vanessa Nicolaysen and I am just not a fan of bums.