1. Obvious runners- people that are walking around with their tiny running shorts, visors, obvious runner muscles over-exposed mocking you (hahaha I'm a runner, look at us we're fabulous) and smoothie in hand.
2. Girls in bum cheek shorts strapped into harnesses jumping on a trampoline- ever exposing more bum cheek. A quick fix for that: stop wearing bum cheek shorts.
3. Skinny Utah sauntering moms. No fair- I am going to petition Obama as part of the fairness doctrine- those of us with extra weight need to have the gov't pay for our tummy tucks and lipo or all those naturally skinny moms that immediately shrink back down into pre-prego body wear fat suits... it's only fair.
4. Very forward presumptuous children that talk to me in the elevator. Don't talk to me- I'm a stranger. For all you know I could be carrying...some...kind of... children destroying something or other. (really I don't mind- as long as you don't need slapping and the little girl that talked to me could probably benefit from a good slapping, but that makes me presumptuous so...)
5. People that stand uncomfortably close to you in the grocery line or in the pool. Respect the bubble people- Respect it!
1 comment:
You are hilarious!
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