1. Don't wear a bikini. It's just nasty...too much skin. Believe me, a normal one piece swimsuit is plenty o' skin for the whole world to see. You're walking around in yo' bra and undies...I don't know how someone was able to make people okay with walking around in public with just a bra and undies. Genius really. We do not salute you. (I wonder what fashion funkiness I could convince people to wear hmmm)
2.Don't be so thorough during your rinsing off. I'm talking to you bikini girl getting too far inside that cup with your rinsing and you creeper dude standing with your back turned to me and my chillens. I can still work out what you're rinsing with your back turned...eww.
3. Don't skim board so close to me. Really, there's a lot of ocean and a lot of beach so it's not okay to just use my area because I look like a nice chubby mom with four kids that won't mind your snot-nosed self getting all up in my spot. Thank you though for not decapitating one of my kids with a rogue board.
Thank you and good night.
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