I started thinking of my sister. I was remembering her charging through BYU campus with her calf muscles bulging, her witty retorts to stupid things people would say, and how she always had a positive spin on everything. I remembered walking home from campus up the side of a mountain and she would stop and tell me to "pretend to look at the view" so she could catch her breath. The tv was blaring with some cartoon and the baby lay asleep on my lap- just a normal moment- but I started getting sadder and sadder. I felt like my facial features could drip off my head and land in my lap. My throat began to hurt and my heart began to pound until I pushed those thoughts away and filled them with my daily routine. What am I going to make for dinner, gotta change out the laundry, put the baby in her basket and maybe she'll stay asleep. I miss her so much lately- it's almost seven years and I realize that soon it will be a double digit number that denotes the number of years I haven't seen my sister. I hate that. Sometimes I have dreams that I'm doing this or that and my sister is there like she always was in my life. I know they're only in my head, but what does Dumbledore say? "Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real? ..."
1 comment:
Amen.
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