I admit I'm pretty easily annoyed. I spent most of my young life as a mute because I didn't want to annoy people as much as they annoyed me- except for my family, I was born to annoy them. Plus, I'm pretty sure I get it from my dad. (hehehe) Well, now I'm 23 weeks pregnant and my pelvis is beginning to do it's same ol' song and dance fall apart. (this usually happens really early so I consider myself blessed that it's just happening now) But, being prego, in pain and tired makes me that much more grumpy. I just wanted to give a shout out to a couple of people that deserve it.
1. Dude in the electric wheelchair at Food Lion: I love how you roared your engine behind Tates and me acting impatient like you needed to get around. I politely stepped to the side and moved my child while you kindly slipped your bum in front of me at the checkout line. I normally wouldn't be too annoyed, but I needed to twizzle, weewee, tinkle- whatever you call it (what do you call it?). I have baby and fluid sitting on my bladder! After expressing my annoyance to Tates in the car ride home she yelled at me, "MAYBE BECAUSE HE'S IN A WHEELCHAIR!" At least I'm raising my daughter with more charity than I have.
2. Dude standing at the intersection down from my house repeatedly trying to bum a cigarette off of strangers- "Can I get a ZIGARAT!" This guy stands there right where you have to stop. The last time he was there Jeebs was driving and alone. This time I was driving and I had no Jeebs (he's also more charitable than me). I did not want to stop- I didn't want to roll down my window- so what did I do? I thought quick on my feet- picked up Jeebs' phone and pretended to talk on it and be too preoccupied to stop and roll down my window. After passing him I made a real phone call to Jeebs and laughed hysterically at my quick thinking. I am messed up.
3. Girl at walmart that didn't acknowledge me speaking to her...I accidentally dumped about 6 eggs on the floor in front of the egg case at walmart. I immediately went to the nearest person and said as nicely as I could, "I just made a nice egg disaster over there, sorry!" She didn't turn her head, she didn't say a word, she dropped what she was doing and walked off. I normally would have offered to help clean up, but if you're gonna be like that- I'm gonna let you clean up the egg mess and I will be laughing a little inside (not really, I was steaming).
4. I forgot to mention- Sydney from the Daybook- you skinny little scallywag. I'm so sorry you had to pinch and scrunch and fold and cinch your ginormous XXL chain mail dress to fit your size 0 body. And by sorry, I mean I can't be worried about your skinny butt! I don't know why the rest of the girls who have previously styled this dress haven't come at you with a bloody shillelagh. I guess that would be good fashion blog etiquette.
I remembered another one while I was tossing and turning trying to go back to sleep after my 700th trip to the bathroom- but then Jeebs said "thank you" in his sleep and messed up my concentration.
I remember! 5. Nicholas Sparks- I watched Dear John last night that we had DVR'd so I could fast forward all the hippity dippity I didn't want to see- seriously no more people we don't want to see it. Jeebs told me in the middle of the movie it was a Nicholas Sparks story- but I was already into it. I think that man writes purely to make people sad and cry. It's like he thinks "hmm, what can I write about to make people feel the saddest and blubber the most- I know let's take away true love and all your family members- that gets 'em every time". Blagh- do something else.
okay- I think that's all. I can't wait for May or June which ever brings my uterus back to it's normal size :)
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