Yeasty Dinner Rolls

I got tired of naming my blog entries just by the date so I decided to name this one "Yeasty Dinner Rolls". I bought some of these in the Walmart bakery and despite the disgusting name, they're pretty tasty. I just don't think yeasty should be an adjective applied to any kind of food. I just picture really disgusting yeast infections when I hear "yeasty". gross.

Okay- I didn't blog last night because Jeebs was on a campout and I was having an exhausting pain-filled day. I have days when I feel like I can get lots of stuff done and then I usually over do it and feel like poo the next couple of days. So, to all my adoring blog fans (all 5 of you) I apologize for skipping yet another day.

Today being the last day of January I figure I better think of something really good to blog about my sister. So- here goes...

1. My sister and I shared a room until she went off to college. The morning she left with my parents to drive out to Utah, I cried harder than I had ever cried for several hours. I was so dang sad!! and I was going to be a freshman in high school. We wrote back and forth while she was in Utah and she used to share my letters with her roommates. They all knew who I was when I went out to visit- I know that's how it's going to be when I pass away. Everybody will already know who I am :)

2. I used to have such a fear of dying. While I still don't look forward to the pain part- or the leaving my children part- I don't fear death anymore. I don't want to die early or anything, but I know my sister will be waiting for me on the other side and what's scary about that? I also don't want to leave Jeebs early because if he got remarried to some skank that messed up my children's lives- I'd be really upset.

3. I watched the movie Eagle Eye last night- mostly because I like Shia Lebouf or whatever his name is. He has a twin brother in the movie that dies towards the beginning. You come to find out that he was the "slower", less motivated twin. He describes his brother as being the kid with a rocket strapped to his back. He couldn't help doing everything at rocket speed and doing it well because that's just how he was. I thought of my sister when he said that. It was like she had a rocket strapped to her. She could just do everything and do it well.

I wish I could finish with some profound statement, but all I can say is that I loved my sister and I miss her every day. I knew her for 25 years of my life and it is really difficult to picture the next 25 years without her. You start to get used to people being gone and that's depressing too because you don't want to get used to it, you just have to- to survive. My one sister in the world and we're not together anymore. There is a letter my sister wrote me when she was on her mission. I was pregnant with Taylor and really wished to have my sister around. She wrote in her letter that she wished she were around too, but she thought the Lord was trying to teach us something by separating us at crucial and pivotal moments in eachother's lives. I guess we were just meant to grow up at this time in our lives - apart. I know there has to be a lesson in all this and I'm sure some day I'll know, but getting to that point is going to be tough.